Divorce has a reputation for being adversarial, expensive and emotionally exhausting. It does not have to be that way.

A collaborative divorce is a structured, respectful process where both parties commit to resolving matters outside of court. Instead of preparing for a fight, you are preparing for a solution.

What is Collaborative Divorce?

A collaborative divorce is a structured process where both parties commit to resolving their separation respectfully, with open communication and professional support. Instead of fighting it out in court, everyone works together to reach a practical outcome that feels fair and sustainable for the future.

Each person has their own collaboratively trained lawyer. Everyone signs an agreement committing to resolve issues without going to court. If the process breaks down and litigation becomes necessary, the whole team steps aside. This creates a shared incentive to stay engaged and find workable outcomes.

The focus is on interests rather than positions. It is on problem-solving rather than point scoring. Instead of escalating conflict, the goal is to preserve dignity and, where children are involved, protect ongoing parenting relationships.

The process is team based. Depending on your circumstances, your team may include lawyers, a financial neutral which is where I come in, a divorce coach, a child specialist or an accountant. Meetings are held around a table, not in a courtroom. Transparency is central. Information is shared openly so decisions are made with clarity rather than suspicion.

For many families, especially those with complex assets, businesses, trusts or significant superannuation, this structure allows for thoughtful, well modelled outcomes rather than rushed settlements driven by fear or fatigue.

How I Fit Into The Process

In a collaborative divorce I work as the financial neutral within your team. My role is to bring clarity to the numbers for both you and your former partner.

That includes:

• Identifying and categorising assets
• Educating everyone so they understand the balance sheet and feel confident in their decisions
• Modelling different settlement scenarios and their impact on both your lifestyles
• Stress testing cash flow so everybody understands what is sustainable
• Working closely with the collaborative team so strategy and financial reality align

Divorce is not just about splitting assets. It is about understanding what those assets mean for your future. Two settlements that look similar on paper can feel very different five years down the track.

Some of the most important questions I routinely explore are:

• If you are keeping the family home, can you afford it comfortably?
• If you are receiving superannuation, when can you access it?
• If there is a business involved, what are the real risks and liquidity constraints?

These are the questions that matter.

A collaborative divorce is not about being soft. It is about being strategic, transparent and future-focused.

If you are considering separation and want to understand whether a collaborative approach might suit your situation, I am very happy to have an initial conversation. You do not need to navigate this alone.

Kind regards,

Shelley Marsh
Outsourced Chief Investment Officer (OCIO) & Founder
Wealth Differently

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